Thoughts observed under Saturn's opposition.
Well it’s here. I’m 44 you know. Do you know what that means? For the more astrologically-versed out there, Saturn is now opposing my natal Saturn. It is exact today (July 5, 2006.)
I thought I would write about some of my thoughts and feelings right now:
I have spent the better part of a day updating and adjusting my business/life plan; it is an exquisite balance between what I want and what is realistically possible. This is the fork in the road, you either accept the truth or you don't. If you don't you end up spending an indeterminate time in a state of denial and its attendant misery.
It is painful until you realize that this is REALITY you’re addressing. Behind it all is some sublime, virtuous, and transcendent purpose that is endeavoring to manifest through you.
The human will based on its limited and imperfect understanding of things, and the Will of God which is based on an eternal infinite perspective for each individual is something I’m thinking about a lot right now. Following the Will of God means that I have to continue in my course (which I have been on all along, by the way) and keep doing the best with what I have where I am.
Following my human will means prolonged pain and suffering which expends vast quantities of energy trying to deny the greater flow of events, in vain. Railing against destiny and fate is so unnecessary, of course; because fate and destiny only conspire to upraise, exalt, and prosper the individuality of each person.
But it takes the necessary qualities of faith, perseverance, and trust to make it happen; as well as a good ability to endure temporary painful, seemingly unjust and erroneous situations. In retrospect the course and plan of your life will become clear, as it does for me.
Some of the challenges I feel now, which in my human understanding I would steer clear of; I realize I must not turn away from for it is of extreme importance that I stand, face, and resolve. This way I will no longer be intimidated by certain people, situations, or types of events.
You should never engage in any sort of avoidance behavior, for you deny yourself of the most empowering of experiences.
Getting back to my Saturn opposition: I feel pain and frustration all right. For a person with a lot of Mars-ruled points in his chart like me, blockages and limitations are something to be knocked down or conquered. I have however found greater focus, determination, and resolve from my efforts. Saturn has met and concretized my Martian fervor.
The key to this though is to be able to let go of control of the affairs of my life and surrendering it up into a superior power and letting grace descend onto my soul and quiet it. Greater yet it is recognizing and affirming that greater power as superior and to be desired; it is a switch of consciousness and attitude.
I sometimes hear people proselytize about fighting continually, never giving up, and being tough, tough, tough. That seemingly is how they won in life, but I sense no growth of soul in them; they have carved out a great niche in the world, but their hearts have been neglected.
How does one rise up then? How do they pass on to the next level? Maybe they don’t, and they return as tough, thick, and calloused souls. I see this in what might be otherwise the most spiritual of people. They have had success, but they seemingly never had it all taken away from them. They have never stood naked and forsaken in the world. Such pain apparently has never crushed their heart.
It would seem the greatest test of the soul would be to exist solely by itself, with no supporting ego accomplishments, prides, or smugness of acquisition. To live like a homeless person, severely handicapped, one wracked by “madness”; this is where all attachment to material things only creates suffering. These things are denied to one and they must simply exist, content only to live for that day.
It may take decades but to the ardent soul who never forsakes his connection to his Creator-Lord, this kind of life frees the soul from its material encumbrances and illusions and allows it to grow and expand. Maybe only then true mastery and accomplishment begins.
Life is not lived truly by might or right, but it succeeds by peace found in the heart at any moment in any situation. Peace then brings the perception of reality, from there you can proceed in measured pace.